introduction | twists and turns and 2020

This isn't my first time writing a blog, but it's certainly the first time I've done it at such a - shall we say - tumultuous time. 2020 hasn't pulled any punches for anyone, and in the midst of it all, I'm starting university soon. I should be excited and to a certain extent, I am; but given the current state of the world, I'm more than a little uncertain. 

Truthfully, I can't blame all of my uncertainty on the pandemic - there's more than a little bit of imposter syndrome mixed in with it all. I keep thinking I've fooled everyone into thinking I'm smart enough to go to university, that I'm independent enough to live away from home, and that at some point it's all going to come crashing down. My more rational side knows I'm being ridiculous - but still, the fear remains. 

There's a lot of change on the horizon, and to help myself embrace it rather than cower from it, I've decided to start blogging again. If you're reading this, I guess you can expect a (un)healthy mix of random thoughts, whatever I'm fixated on currently and my own writing (maybe even...sharing...some of it? The mortifying idea of being known). 

I've never really been one for New Year's Resolutions, and I'm fully aware that it's not actually the new year yet (despite how much I want it to be), so we can call the following a list of my Uni Year Resolutions - everything I want to do, work on or achieve upon starting my first year of university. Oh! It occurs to me I haven't actually said what I'm going to be studying - Liberal Arts, which I can't wait to sink my teeth into. 

Resolution 1: Be More Open to New Experiences and New People - this one is self-explanatory, I'm not to best in social situations (having had many Elle Moments™ that maybe I'll talk about in later posts), so I'm resolving to throw myself into the deep end and see if I sink or swim. Let's hope for the latter.

Resolution 2: Learn to Cook - a basic life skill that I have yet to master beyond the borders of pasta and French toast.

Resolution 3: Join a Society - there are so many interesting societies at my university, such as the debate team which I'm praying still goes ahead (albeit socially distanced, etc). I was Captain of my school's debate team before this, and I loved it so much so hopefully I get a chance to continue.

Resolution 4: Put Time Aside For My Writing - during lockdown, I (as well as almost everybody else on the planet) got a bad dose of Quarantine Blues that did nothing to help my procrastination. Writing went on the back burner for a while, but for the past couple of months I've fallen back in love with it and I am henceforth resolving to never let it slip away from me like that again.

2020 has been a year of change, amongst other things. What resolutions would you like to make? What have been some of the bigger changes you've experienced?